Wandering in Wonder
I am not even sure how long it’s been since I’ve written on here. Months and months. I am officially the worst ‘blogger’ ever. Sooo, let’s just jump right in.
This past year has been a long stretch of mountains and valleys. The mountain tops have been soooooooo beautiful, colorful and full of life. And the valleys so dry and weird and confusing. It’s crazy -even, unfathomable- for me to think of where the Lord has brought me and how He got me here. In Dallas. Engaged to the man of my dreams. Thank you for your wonder, Jesus.
Last April, David texted me while I was home in Charlotte after a couple of weeks being in Haiti. ‘Want to go to Europe?‘ Let me go back for a minute- my parents traveled the world together before they got married. My dad always told me, go travel with someone and you will know what it’s like being married to them. I have heard stories of them eating Pizza Hut in Japan and Mcdonald’s in London, my mom overflowing the bathtub in Paris… I always dreamt of the fun they had together and the fairytale that I would one day tell my daughter. Thanks A LOT for that, guys….
So obviously, texted my mom. And she was like, ‘DUH!!! OMG!!! YOU’RE JUST LIKE ME!!!’ Okay, maybe exaggerated for emphasis but yes, she said go for it! So I texted him back. ‘Uhhhh…. yes?! When?!’ To which he responded in perfect David-fashion, ‘3 days?’.
So. I packed my bags and met him in Fort Lauderdale where we got on a boat that was to take us to Europe. Uh….. people still do that?! Anyways, okay, cool! My first cruise! We get on the boat. Y’all. We were the youngest people on there by at least fifty years. I kid you not. They served prune juice at breakfast- you get the picture. Apparently, it was a retirement cruise. We spent a week on that boat in the middle of the ocean, no land in sight for days and days, no wifi, no phones, nobody to talk to but eachother. Talk about building a foundation.
We got used to the awkward silence. We said ‘I love you’. We witnessed each other sea sick. We played way too much battleship and watched too many old DVD’s. We even finished a puzzle. I often sat up on the deck by myself and dreamt about our future together- what it would be like, what kind of hardships we may go through, how lucky I would be to call him mine for forever. We made it to an island of Portugal and spent an entire month traveling the Baltic Sea, we visited 10 new countries. Probably ate McDonald’s in at least 8 of those. It was happening! My fairytale!
Here I was. Hand in hand with my best friend, learning how to drive a stick via youtube and trying to figure each other out when we’re hangry and need a snack. Riding trains and tiny rental cars through these countries with nothing but a paper map and a backpack. We drove to every lighthouse on every map. David has a thing with lighthouses and those were the moments where we would put on worship and sit. No words. Just wandering in wonder. How good is our God who knows the desires of our hearts and says…. here you go, baby girl.
I flew back home to Charlotte and sat on my bed with my mom and my dad like a school girl. I told them all of our hilarious stories, showed them our photos and got teary-eyed from the fullness of my heart. It wasn’t 24 hours before people began to whisper. ‘Can you believe they went on that trip?‘ (Like we were the first unmarried couple to go on a trip together? I had to bite my tongue in the ministry-world.) Mountain to valley. David and I were were so unified in those moments that I began to break through those chains of listening to what other said about us. Why care so much about what everyone else thought if I knew my own truth. It can become difficult to hold on to your happiness if it’s constantly being questioned. But this joy was something I couldn’t let go of.
Mountain to valley. Valley to mountain. Now here I am, one year later. Preparing my heart to be a bride (in 47 days to be exact!!!). To marry this man who has promised me our own kind of fairytale; this man who challenges me and holds me to new standards- because he loves me, sees me, values me, knows my worth and constantly tells me in all of my crazy, ‘I’m not going anywhere’. I could choke on my heart just thinking about his big grin waiting for me at the alter.
So now to the nitty gritty. By no means has our relationship been a fairytale. Lol. Quite the opposite. We’ve gone through some of life’s greatest challenges in our one short year together.
Health- it can fail you.
Job- don’t put your security in it.
Relocating- it’s never permanent.
People you love- they will disappoint you.
We went to Haiti in November not knowing that it would be our last time for a long time and together stepped away from something so close to our hearts.
I am thankful for your attention span + for reading this far, I’ll be writing more this week about the past 6 months and the heartache that comes along with cutting ties… oh, and WEDDING PLANNING!!!!!!!!! If there’s anything you’d like to read about or any questions you have, please reach out! I am an open book and want to share what you want to read about :).
YOU ARE LOVED!