Who Are You Not To Be?
It has been a crazy week coming home to Dallas and getting settled back in our apartment. We have officially been married for two months, we've only been home together a few weeks out of those two months, we are heading into the final weeks of our lease - not sure where we will be living yet - AND trying to make grown-up decisions that most people have planned out a year in advance... but... that's just not who we are. Jesus take the wheel.
We actually enjoy the unknown. It has always been the place where we've seen freedom and beauty and goodness come to life. If you don't have it all figured out then you give God a little room to move. And I love to watch Him do it. So.... here's to moving.
This past week, David and I have been doing a lot of reflecting together. He is always challenging me. Since the first day we started dating, he was always asking the hard questions... which used to make me super nervous!! And if I'm being honest, sometimes they still do. But marriage is definitely starting to shift that a lot. But I'll get into that later. So this week the question has been:
WHO ARE WE?
What is are our foundation built on (Yes, Jesus, of course. But let's go deeper)... Our values. Our priorities. Our legacy. HOW do you combine two individuals who come from two totally, completely different backgrounds and families, two people who are crazy about each other, want to experience the world + see the world + love the world, chase the unexpected, two people who crave to leave footprints that are meaningful. Whoa. And that's right about when my brain begins to kick in... but how?! How do we expect to do it?! Where?! I don't even know where to begin! And David's response? Just start. Start somewhere. You might be tired of hearing it, but David often goes back to that quote I shared: WHO ARE YOU NOT TO BE? And there is so much truth in those 6 little words.
If I look back on my life, pretty much every crazy, big, or difficult decision started with a "HOW!?!!? THERE'S NO WAY!!!". We all doubt ourselves, and often times our insecurities... aka the enemy... gets the best of us. If I'm being honest, I tend to get all up in my head. Especially in this "blogging" world! I have literally pictured people laughing at me in my head. Or judging me, or saying "what is she doing???" huddled in a mean girl circle. And I'm certain there have been a few of those outside of my head, I mean let's be real- I laugh at MYSELF most of the time... but you can't go there. And if you do, I sure hope you have some amazing people in your life who surround you with love and snap you back to reality.
When I created my blog last year - or more of an online journal? - I was really against becoming a "blogger". The word just made me cringe. I wanted to share my journey with my dad's battle with cancer, my new relationship, the ups and the downs of real life... I wanted to put it all out there in hopes that maybe it would inspire or encourage or even ignite something new in a girl who might find herself reading my words. I still don't really like the word blogger. Or blog. It just sounds....... like I want to punch myself. But I guess this is the path that has been laid out for me right now so I better learn how to embrace it!
I don't ever want someone to come to my instagram page, or our site, and leave thinking... welp, that was a waste of time! Last night when David and I were laying on the couch talking and writing and hanging out together, he was asking me what I (we, because everything is we now!!) really wanted this website to stand for. With my distaste for the word "blogger" I started to feel discouraged when I talked about my hopes and dreams for it. The blogger world is SO incredibly saturated. And the last thing y'all need is another girl shoving a new outfit in your face every 5 minutes. And my hopes, dreams, and desires for this "blog" really aren't like any others... I want it to be more. I want it to speak life and make you laugh, maybe even make you cry because we all know that's good for the soul every once in a while. My prayer is that I will be challenged and held to a standard that is MORE than sharing fashion tips + makeup routines.... don't get me wrong, I LOVE me some youtube tutorials and I have friends at the mall... but there is more to it.
My hope is that everywhere I go, I leave it better than I found it. I hope I leave people happier than when I found them. An apartment more beautiful than it was before we moved in. I hope to bring light to the dark places. Make it beautiful Leave it better. My prayer for this blog is to leave YOU better than you were before you clicked on it. I will absolutely give you my two cents about my favorite sales. But I just hope that you leave with a deeper love for where you are right now, maybe a moment to put all of the craziness aside and remind yourself that life is pretty good. I want to challenge you to jump out into the scary places- that actually aren't so scary outside of your head. Chase that dream that you never thought you could do! Move past the expected and shine.
YOU ARE LOVED + YOU ARE IN THE PALM OF HIS HANDS.